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Being
Discontent:
a longing and hunger for more of God
by Mike Gates - May 2007
Psalm 63:1-2 "O God, You are my
God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh longs for You in a
dry and thirsty land, where there is no water. So I have looked for You in the
sanctuary, to see Your power and Your glory.
 Do
you have a longing and hunger for more of God? I have been experiencing this for
over a year now. At first I could not pin point exactly what I was feeling
inside. I only remembered that there was this deep desire inside of me for more.
I was feeling dissatisfied with my Christian walk. But have you ever desired
something so badly when it comes to God that you feel like you're about to
explode? There's this tugging at your heart, a yearning for something much
bigger than what you've already experienced. There's a sense of desperation. You
don't know what you want or need; all you know is that there has to be more.
I first started feeling this back in January 2006. I went on a missions trip
with Brian Lake Ministries to Kingston, Jamaica. I waited my whole life to go to
Jamaica and I was full of excitement to get there. Little did I know that God
was setting me up. I had an awesome time while I was there and met a lot of
incredible people. We were having powerful nightly revival meetings where God
did miraculous things. I got to experience the Father's heart while visiting an
orphanage. I was encouraged by the big dreams the orphans have. I got to
experience a heavy hunger for God from the people I ministered to one Sunday
morning at the G.O.D. Centre. I was moved with compassion when I saw parts of
the city where there was poverty, and the effects of the damage left by a
hurricane. That experience changed my life!!!
On the way home sitting on a plane, I was playing back in my mind everything I
got to experience in Jamaica. I was overwhelmed as I then started to reflect on
my Christian walk prior to going. I started to think about all the powerful
services I ministered at where there would be an open heaven and many
breakthroughs. I was reminded of all the wonderful places I got to travel with
my friend Brian Lake while working for Global Fire Productions. There were
pictures in my head of conferences that I got to sit through where God would do
signs, wonders, and miracles through other speakers. I played back memories of
my family and how awesome they are. I realized that I truly have a blessed life
and yet I felt like there was more.
For over a week after I got home I was feeling numb. I guess I must've looked
like a walking zombie. So many emotions were going through me and it was like
God just enlarged my heart. Finally my wife asked me "what was wrong, you've
waited your whole life to go to Jamaica, I thought you would've came back all
excited". I told her that I was excited, but couldn't pin point what I was
feeling inside. All of a sudden the revelation came, Kim pointed at me and said
"it's as if you are DISCONTENT". At that
moment it was like God just smacked me upside the head and my response was,
"that's it, that's exactly what I'm feeling, DISCONTENT".
I shared with her that I felt that there must be more. That there is more than
just going out preaching, more than just going to conferences, more than just
sitting though a worship service. I told her it's like there is something big
just waiting for us around the corner. I couldn't see it, but I knew that there
was something there and I was at peace about it.
Dis-con-tent: A restless desire or
craving for something more. Or a restless longing for something better than the
present situation. Dissatisfaction.
Long-ing: A strong persistent yearning or
desire.
Since I've been experiencing discontent, I have heard from others who are in the
same situation. Discontent is the fuel that ignites passion for more of God. I
don't ever want to be satisfied in my Christian walk. I don't ever want to be in
a comfort zone. I want to experience all that God has in store for my family and
me. There's an excitement, anticipation and a peace in knowing that God is in
control. His will is more important than anything else in life. I treasure being
discontent, I see it as being very precious and valuable.
If you are experiencing that same longing and hunger that I've been talking
about, always remember that there is nothing spiritually wrong with you.
Sometimes when you are discontent people will think you are depressed or sad.
They don't see how your spirit man is jumping on the inside with excitement.
It's just like that one candy bar commercial where the marketing engineers want
us to believe that the candy bar "always satisfies". So then you go to the store
and buy that candy bar, but a few hours later you realize that you want more.
You realize that it satisfied you just temporarily, and now that you've gotten a
taste of it, you want more! You can't stop thinking about it, and it's all
within your reach, all you have to do is go back to the store for more.
Being discontent is the same way. You want more. One day you will have an
awesome encounter with God and you wake up the next morning still wanting more,
wanting another experience with God. He's our Father, we want to spend more and
more time with Him, everyday we wake up with a new sense of desire. With each
new experience, that desire inside of you intensifies. Before I married Kim we
would go out on dates. No matter how wonderful our time together was we couldn't
wait to see each other again. Christians should have that same fervency and
hunger for our relationship with God.
As a minister, I've always enjoyed preaching in services. I love to see how God
would bless people through His healing power and deliverance. It is even more
special when God shows up in the room and at that moment it's as if it is just
Him and I alone together. I'm no longer ministering to a crowd. It's as if I am
ministering to Him. It's all about Him. He is to be our focus, our center. I
don't ever want to be satisfied with my relationship with God, I just want more
of Him. Dissatisfaction does not mean you're not happy, it means you just want
to spend every waking moment with your heavenly daddy. More Lord!
In closing, I feel that there are some of you right now who are reading this,
and for so long you have been feeling the same way I do. At times that hunger
aches, there's a sense of brokenness. It's not because you're sad or depressed,
but you can literally feel the Potter's hands as He's molding and shaping you.
You feel you're heart being enlarged by the Father's love. Your main goal in
life is to be in His will, and not walk after your own dreams. No matter how
many of His secrets God reveals to you, there's still a sense of discontent for
more of Him.
You might be a parent who wants the best for your children. You want your
children to excel in life. You want them to feel safe and secure. You treasure
every moment with your children. Yet you're discontent because you want more of
God in their lives.
You may be a pastor who wants your church to grow spiritually. You're tired of
worrying about physical numbers because you know that through spiritual growth
the ones you are currently equipping will get on fire and go and do the work of
God. You're still discontent because you want more of God in your flock. You
don't want to just preach another sermon; you want a life-changing encounter
with God in your church.
Maybe you're someone who is in ministry. Your hearts desire is to reach the
lost. Your passion in life has been consumed by your passion for the lives of
others. No matter how many people you reach out to, you're discontent because
you want more of God in the people of the world. You can't sleep at night; you
feel the yearning to reach one more person, one more for the kingdom. You're
discontent because you're heart is not in trying to build your ministry, but
instead your longing to help build God's kingdom.
If that is you, look at discontent as something valuable, treasure it. Don't
ever allow anyone to discourage you by then saying "there must be something
spiritually wrong with you". Allow discontent to be the fuel that ignites your
passion for more of God. A holy hunger for His presence and a deep desire to do
His will.
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